j+j=a

just another may in paradise.

2010-05-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

i'm not quite sure of the real reason aviators use the phrase "may day" as a distress signal. but, the past twenty-five days of may have sure brought about my urge to s.o.s for some assistance... at least a couple of times. what a busy month. travels and tranquility, prepping and pouting, rain and rhinoceroses.

each week, usually around tuesday or wednesday night, josh and i often regret the fact that we yet again have plans for the weekend. although we always have a grand time, the mere thought of packing up the ol' four-runner to journey off for a couple days always seems so tiring and remorseful. funny thing is, if we did actually have a weekend to just sit around and enjoy our little family, we would somehow find a way to utter the words, "i'm bored."

well, this month is no exception. josh, his mother and his sister all celebrate birthdays in the fifth month, so it has been parties and presents galore. plus, this is prime camping season...not too cold, not to hot. a time that must be taken advantage of by pale people! we also invested in a zoo membership this year, and have already visited the park twice...yielding our purchase "worth it" after only two weeks of enrollment. per ge, josh was working in boston for a week, so mister and i took a tour of ohio, making a few stops for sleepovers with the cousins and overdo grandmommie time. and, to add to the stress of being seven months pregnant, our glorious home is still on the market. with five showings so far this may, the cleaning and staging have done a number on my already swollen feet... not to mention the disappointment of not yet receiving an offer, which has carried out an even bigger number on my mood. perfect time for some pampering, right? thank heavens for mother's day! the hubs was a great-gift-giver this holiday and i enjoyed three plus hours of massage and mani-pedi.

needless to say, all this excitement has me falling a little short on list endeavors. I did manage to finish up number thirty-three, just in time to start all over with baby lms. with a busted up computer for the last few months, i was behind five months of photos and memories. now with four carefully, crafted books, mister can relive his life anytime he wants...literally, i scrapbooked everything!

so, i will leave you with a few selected photos of the month's ados. and with one last and fun-filled weekend left in may i will strap on my hopeful attitude and look forward to the last month of my life with one child and at least half my sanity.

quick ren-o.

2010-04-23T09:20:00.000-07:00

each time my phone rings and i hear the cheerful "hello" from marianne at huff realty, i search for a new way to jazz up the digs for another showing. with spring in the air, what better way to impress an on-the-fence-buyer, then with a great back patio to entertain and/or unwind. it is amazing what a little power-washing can do!
a mere sixty bucks resurrected our not-so-pleasant, lime green landscape timbers into the lovely flower holders they were intended to be.

and, a quick mow of the lawn...josh has let our "back yard" become quite the jungle lately, we are ready for the spring chicks to come by and buy our house!

as an added bonus, not that a striking new patio for someone else to enjoy is not enough, i also get to cross off yet another lingering task from the list. number fifty is bye-bye.

the actual chore was performed by my most awesome husband, but give me a break...i am pregnant and extremely afraid of the basement! either way it looks great. (sorry i don't have a before photo, i promise to be more on top of things next time.)

so loyal perusers, send any and everyone you know over to check the renovated space...we prefer guests with a checkbook or a pre-approved mortgage!

all grown up.

2010-04-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

time always seems to fly when you are having fun, right? well, this past year has been a whirlwind, and i can only assume that the next seventeen will feel just as cyclonic. my sweet little man turned one-whole-year-old last week. all the triumphs i couldn't wait for him to accomplish, he's attained. and, although these giant acts of development bring smiles to my cheeks, i do miss those days of just staring at him asleep in his beloved lamb chair. the fact that i am six months pregnant probably puts a hefty damper on the excitement of toddler-hood, but lets be honest...chasing and retaining a child for eight plus straight hours is no picnic for anyone.

the celebration started, with all kinds of fun, at the cincinnati children's museum. the water table was a big hit...just ask ryan!

afterwards all the kids, the aunts, the uncles, the grandparents and the great-grandparents retired to our abode for some pizza and cake. and, of course, the shredding of neatly wrapped gifts by at least six teeny hands at a time.

it wasn't until the singing of the acclaimed b-day song did mister realize that all these people and gifts were for him. it was so darling to watch his little eyes scan the room, mesmerized by the love, which bellowed from the lips of his family members.

all in all, it was a great day. the clean-up is another story...maybe a tale left better untold! i am so thankful to have such an amazing and supportive family, whom, no matter what, love my son more than any typed words could ever communicate.

happy birthday mister.

new additions.

2010-03-24T19:09:00.000-07:00

during the past few months, in which i have been absent from the digital world, a handful of new additions have become a part of our always growing family. in no such order of importance... although i am partial to my main man mac, i graciously introduce you, my faithful readers, to the latest members of the pabst clan!

you may be surprised that i actually am typing a post. i know my sister-in-law is! but as promised, with a new computer, comes new posts. and i am super happy to say that although the hubs has had his eye on a new boob-tube, the leftover uncle sam moolah was rewarded to me and my dreamy imac has arrived.

this baby is stacked. my photos have never looked better, nor has my email gone faster. but, the biggest plus, especially for someone like me who despises dust, every piece is wireless; keyboard, mouse, internet. so besides the power cord, my days and nights of wiping kitty-cat hair off of numerous computer connections is over. and, i honestly do cherish the time i spend with my new friend, even if it is only the two, maybe two and half hours allotted by mister's midday nappy-poo. so, as i "x" number thirty-four off the rather idled list, i will venture on to tell you about the other add-ons my sweet little family has experienced as of late.

number seventy-one has also been red-inked, thanks to josh and his thoughtful valentine's gift.
isn't she cute?

this gal is practical, plus she has already brought me so close to achieving number seventy as well...only nine dollars short. no worries though, i have high hopes for future shopping. as an added bonus, this little girl velcros to the cart! if you are a mommy, you know that baby hands love to shred coupons, grocery lists, money, etc. thanks josh for keeping me hip! with a coupon organizer! haha!

the third addition comes as much more of a surprise. when i constructed this list i had the thought in my head that three years is a huge time frame, and i was planning on using that entire duration to complete more than a couple of the challenges. number ninety-nine, to be specific. problem is, it has come to my attention that child-bearing is no real challenge for me at all. and as i stared at the evolving second pink line, i realized that this new addition would probably be the most important, most cherished, most loved. unborn-baby girl-pabst is due to arrive in early july, and although the news brought about many looks of stupor upon people's faces, we couldn't be more excited to add to our brood. I won't check off number ninety-nine just quite yet, she is still cooking! but, don't fret my friends, i promise to bounce back into the blog world and keep you up-to-date on all of life's happenings!
(obviously, photography of photography is not my strong suit)

peace and love.

i'm back...at least for today.

2010-01-02T18:49:00.000-08:00

m.i.a. much? i know dear friends, i have missed you too! life just seems to absorb me at times. it submerges me with responsibility, tackles me with challenges, and encompasses my senses, blinding me to the outside world. so, with an extremely heavy heart, i apologize for all the missed get-togethers and forgotten birthday wishes. my abandoned consciousness has also affected my list tackling. thank goodness i still have over two years to go!

not to make excuses, those usually are carefully constructed the night before and never really add up, but if you have been reading my previous posts you will know that my buddy mac, aka, my computer, is not doing so well. consequently, the blog has taken the biggest hit since the little guy will only wake up every-other-other-other-day. photos were backed-up, so they are safe, but also unable to be uploaded at this time...because josh's computer is to only be used for work and necessity email checking. (he is sleeping, so i am typing very quietly! hehe!)

although there is no visual evidence to accompany this post, i have completed one task in the last couple of months... actually josh was the mastermind of this one. you know how every so often you find a mystery twenty bucks in the pocket of a coat you haven't donned since last december? keep story and surprise, change outerwear to trousers and loot to circular tungsten. bye-bye number eighteen.

i will not bore you any longer with this lack luster post, so without further ado, i will again apologize for playing hooky and make a few promises. one-to keep up as best as possible with the blog, and two-quickly inform you about a few "almost red" items from the list that are in the works. cheers.

the vicious cycle.

2009-10-25T16:25:00.000-07:00

as many of you, well maybe i shouldn't say many because i think only about four people actually read this, so, more realistically, as my four loyal readers may know, i turned thirty a couple of weeks ago. and surprisingly, i feel terrific about the transition into a new decade. instead of drowning my sorrows with cheap champagne while hopelessly looking through old photos of college keg parties, or secretly mourning the loss of my first true love, chicago, i feel celebrated. i feel necessary. i feel truly loved.

as a once self-proclaimed, free-willed-flower-child, i have slowly grown into my new role of responsible housewife. i feed, change, and tremendously love a child. i scrapbook. i fold fitted-sheets into perfect squares. i stay home on saturday night.

my ability to perform such tasks is no surprise. those people, usually referred to as "they," that people always quote as saying things like, "your maternal instinct will just come to you," are right, such tendencies do appear out of nowhere sometimes. the biggest shock comes from my desire to actually want to perform these chores. yes, peeling, coring, chopping, cooking and pureeing fruit can become a bit excessive, not to mention redundant, but the satisfaction that i get from knowing exactly what enters my little mister's belly is worth the labor.

speaking of exasperating work, it seems so tiresome to spend your life avoiding the fact that your mother has always been right. to live and to learn...story of my life, as i am sure, most people's lives. the classic scenarios; don't go outside barefooted, you'll get stung by a bee. don't run with scissors, you'll poke your eye out. don't date that "bad boy," he will only make you cry. don't drink too much, you'll throw up. we've all heard them. and, like the obedient, well-mannered children we were, we fearlessly got stung, lost eyes (ok, maybe that one is a little extreme, but you get the point), cried and threw up. all of which could have been averted if only we, as kids, understood that a parent has been a kid, a preteen, a teenager, an adult. a parent has been stung. and, a parent has been heart-broken. and now that i am the parent, mister will, like expected, convince himself that i am old and unfair, and how could i ever understand what he is going through? the vicious cycle continues.

becoming thirty is pretty bitter sweet. it is tragically hard to let go of the "old" version of yourself. and even harder to imagine the next thirty years being better than what you have already experienced. the past thirty years have been good to me, even the hard moments weren't that bad...i'm still standing. so, back to my live and learn generalization. many people, places and things have taught me to accept, interpret and avoid many other people, places and things.
so, as a wise, grown-up, thirty-year-old, please let me share a smidgen of my worldly knowledge.

important lessons learned from age one second to age thirty, in no particular order:
never, ever pass on an opportunity that makes you step outside your comfort zone.
most things in life take patience.
when things seem too good to be true, they are.
true forgiveness is only achieved when you give up the hope that your past can be changed.
you never fall completely in love until that love is taken from you.
your child's cry really isn't as annoying as another child's cry.
yellow is not a neutral color, people will think your son is a girl.
it is impossible to change the world by yourself, but it is possible to change yourself within the world.
never set your open beer on a table in a bar, someone will put their cigarette out in it.
until you stand up for yourself, everyone will beat you down.
the best revenge is over-zealous kindness.
happiness comes from the simplest things, like breathing in the chilled air of a first snow or returning a wave to parade participants.
do things because they make you feel good, not because you think they make you look good.
baby weight does not just fall off, inevitably, someone will mistake your post-baby belly as a bun in the oven.
be kind to your skin, it's your bodyguard.

honestly, if i sat here all night, i could go on and on. but you guys are smart, you do read this blog. and i am pretty sure all of you have lessons that could benefit the lives of the other three readers. so please, share your insight, share your experiences, share your memories before you forget them. before you become senile. before you are forced to wear adult diapers. before you turn thirty.

baby got back-up.

2009-10-19T09:24:00.000-07:00

my little baby computer has been one of my closest confidants for the last several years. my teeny powerbook has stood by my side as i finally finished my last months of college, as i imported, edited, and produced my very own mini-movies, and, most importantly, my buddy mac protects all my irreplaceable photos of the past and of course sweet mister. so, needless to say, when the little fellow started to sound more like an electric can opener than a media center, i scrambled to save my friend, or at least all the treasures he holds. good thing too, because i have been procrastinating on my list lately. which is unacceptable, hence the purpose for the list in the first place. anyway, in an effort to protect my memories, i backed-up all my photos onto dvds, which allowed me to graciously cross off number twelve on my task sheet. and, to be honest, it was super fast and easy. although my photos are safe, i can't say the same for my dear friend. age has really done a number on the little guy and he will have to be put to rest...but not until a replacement is in order. he would want me to be happy.

rank and file.

2009-09-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

trying to pinpoint one single use for the word labor is virtually impossible. labor can be an avocation, it can be disputed, hence the holiday, performed, brought upon, and even felt, as in pain. each year the sidwell clan celebrates their yearly labors with a family camping trip. a once "roughing it" excursion, the event has turned fairly posh over the years. tents have been replaced with cabins, electric stoves have forced dutch-ovens to stay home and showers are now an every day occurrence instead of a demanded instruction due to numerous invasions of gnats hovering around stinky bodies. we try to live off the land, but now parenthood has taken over and the need for electricity has become essential. bottles must be warmed. monitors must be charged. ohio state football must be available. this is when the labor of love sets in. productive works must be performed voluntarily, and definitely without material reward or compensation.

children have become the new labor, and their comfort trumps all else. although we may be perfectly happy sleeping on the ground and eating charred hot dogs, the little ones are not, and we would rather comply with their demands than deal with the consequences. and like the labor of love, we will never receive merit for our surrender to the shin-bitters, only back talk and evil eyes. but, we will continue to please them in fear of others' whispers about our lack of parental province.

in an effort to keep the general idea of camping alive we do venture into the wild via hiking trails. and it is nice to journey by foot with someone who appreciates my excitement for snapping the camera every few minutes. my sweet nephew b-rad is just as photography savvy as myself and never reprimands me for soaking up the view through a lens.

and to keep up with our new found-opulent-style of "cabining," grandmommie always has some fun, and somewhat clean and bug-free, activities for everyone to enjoy. this year, in honor of morgo's eighth birthday we tie-dyed to appease her, and my own, hippie fetish. b-rad also commemorated another year, turning four, with a thomas the train themed fiesta, of course. mister found his train conductor hat very fashionable.

and, without further ado, an additional fete was also fancied by all for ohio state's victory over navy. and what better way to show school spirit than to dress up all the kiddies and kid ourselves that we could actually get a photo of them all looking at the camera... yeah right.
you would think that one day the distracters would realize that if they stood behind the camera, shaking whatever noisy toy they could find, the kids might look in the general direction of the lens.

but, like each year before, the company we spend our mini-vacations with invariably outweighs the disappointments of the absent, and once cherished, endeavors of the past. at least we have numerous shoulders to cry on for our loss of drunken corn-hole tournaments and late night alphabet games. and the absence of a hangover, especially when your verbal alarm clock now goes off at six am, is quite refreshing. don't think we have deserted all forms of tomfoolery or adult beverage binging, we just keep our chaos at bay until the babies peepers are closed for the night. this bedtime usually transpires around the same time as grandpa's, but that's no fluke. at least one thing has stayed the same over all these years.

pretty in pink.

2009-09-14T07:10:00.000-07:00

in a sea of over ten-thousand women, and a few hundred men, my ma and i stood pretty in pink awaiting the fire of the starting gun. the trigger was pulled and with one loud shot from the bullet-less barrel, sneakers began to palpitate against the pavement. the framework of downtown cincinnati took a break from housing crime and dysfunction to offer a little extra support for its native ladies.

women of all shapes and sizes adjusted their bra straps and stood tall and confident as they marched the streets for their mothers and daughters, their grandmothers and co-workers, and some, including myself, even walked for complete strangers; to back a cause.

but i am no saint. i would love to gloat about my benevolence, but i did have ulterior motives for my compassion. i am not a completely heartless, selfish human. i do find joy in giving to those in need, especially when the recipient is truly in paucity, unlike the infamous, clean-shaved homeless men who hang out at the foot of the cwb. seriously, his sign looks like it was printed at kinkos.

although my intentions may have been slightly self absorbed, they were in favor of a first-class conviction... another squatter on my list has been chucked. #37, completed. and, with my ma, bonus points!

together, with a sleepy mister and miss jen madine and her work buddies, we pounded the pavement for five-k, which in literal terms is a smidgen over three miles. the enormous packs of walkers and pit-stop supporters, including pee-wee cheerleaders, a baby alligator and local celebrities awarding cups of water to parched pedestrians, was genuinely heart-warming. some donned signs on their backs honoring those lost to this horrible disease, while others covered their naked heads with pink hats and scarfs to celebrate their survival. accompanied by flawless sunshine, we crossed the finish line refreshed and philanthropic.

my own grandma never got a chance to fight her cancer, but she did live her entire life in celebration of what she had, and what she loved, just like these other brave women do. and, if she were still here, she would have, like always, stolen the show. particularly because she looked way better in pink than either of us.

baconburglars.

2009-09-01T06:06:00.000-07:00

the next item to be graciously exed from the list is number seven, nine. coincidentally, number seventy-nine was completed with a little assistance from another number seventy-nine. come to think of it, the number seventy-nine seems to be stalking me. i was welcomed to this crazy world in seventy-nine, seven, nine were the two digits the thermometer displayed on our flawless sunday afternoon, and, of course, it is the magical number deathclock.com gave me for my transformation from tangible human being, to translucent human soul. maybe, seventy-nine should become my new lucky number? and who knows, i could even start referring to myself as siete-nueve pabst?

anyway, that perfect sunday afternoon i mentioned before; the one where the sun twinkled through the slightly orange tinted leaves of indian summer. the type of afternoon when the recognizable signs of autumn, like quieted beach fronts and cool breezes, fall upon you. when the scent of barbecue is replaced by the sweet and smoky smell of campfire. sweatshirts are retrieved from the backs of closets, flip flops are retired, and nail color changes from mango to mulberry. i love these days. it is no secret, summer is my frienemy. so any sign that snow may be rolling in, in the next couple of months, warms my heart. so certainly, we could never waste this little piece of heaven. the boys and i joined the merrills of grove city, ohio, at ceasar creek state park, site seventy-nine. and like that, mister's first tent-camping trip was underway.

the days gorgeous, the nights chilly. and i don't mean cool in an "i'm the coolest person ever" or "check out our new tent, isn't is cool?" kind-of way. i mean cool, as in forty degrees. fall-like. frosted car windows and fires built for warmth, as well as ambiance. the morning brought body aches, sunshine and a realization that we weren't the only warm-blooded folks who didn't get a good night's sleep. our dutch oven sat comfortably over smoldering coals, awaiting the two pounds of bacon t-bird had been bragging and dreaming about. but the cast iron would remain unoccupied all morning, due to the hungry, masked critters who snatched the strips right out of the cooler. josh discovered the empty plastic wrapping just steps from the tree line of our site. punks.

and, the effects of sharing a sleeping bag with a five-month-old were becoming extremely apparent by the protruding "sleepy bags" under my eyes. we needed to take full advantage of the beautiful football weather quick, before i secretly retired back to my make-shift bed.

after some much needed coffee, and breakfast sans pig, we hiked through the forest, found a baby snake and waited patiently for a cane-bearing, nearly-seventy-nine-year-old man to jump our car. politely, i will refrain from digging up the details of the deceased car-battery.

like the pilferers, i too went whole hog and achieved my objective. so, with another swipe of the red pen, the sweet smell of accomplishment fills the air. and i must say, it is very complimentary to the lingering aroma of campfire.

salt-lickers.

2009-08-15T18:36:00.000-07:00

i have these random, fuzzy memories of life back in the day. those times when every afternoon always seemed so unexpectedly amusing. days filled with activities that made me run and jump and laugh and even, at times, actually sit upright in the station wagon as my dorky parents drove past the other kids in the neighborhood. and although, during that glorious time of puberty, i was absolutely unappreciative and irritating, i remember thinking that when i got older, and had my own annoying family, i too would drag my thankless clan to all kinds of thrilling places, just like my mom and dad did. as i get older, i really do look back and remember the good times, or at least i remember the bad things that happened during the good times.

today's problem... where is all the elation? you can not tell me that zanesville, ohio, twenty years ago, has more to do than cincinnati, ohio, 2009. seriously, say that statement out loud. come on, where are all the festivals and fairs? the outdoor barbecues and pool parties? the cotton candy, the lemonade stands, the balloon animals? the innocent absurdity of being a kid. where did it all go?

i browsed my trusty 2009 interent access for three plus hours, and nothing was planned in the area that even resembled a good time, let alone an outdoor escapade.
pathetic. sad, really.

so in an attempt to appease my craving for adventure and to take a stab at learning to love exercise, the fam headed south into the hollars to experience some good ol' nature walking.

big bone lick state park, yes, that says, big bone lick state park; and yes, that is the real name, was the destination for the outing. not too far from our little slice of paradise, the beautiful westside covington (ha.), the park sits amidst some very "southern" plantations in triple crown. high class.

the trails were a little too twenty-first-century for us, most were paved, but the woodlands did offer up a pretty big ante when it came to wildlife. buffalo, aka. bison, aka. salt-lickers.
i am pretty sure the park wanted its naive patrons to believe the herd were wild, but the presence of a wire fence and a perfectly positioned golden trough made me second guess the motive of that claim. the pastures were blanketed with violet and canary-yellow wild flowers, very delicate and fragrant. not so subdued was the sun. hot and humid. rather sticky, is a more appropriate depiction.
as a whole, it was an enjoyable afternoon with my boys. despite the lack of an organized avocation, the blazing humidity, and the constant nagging, draining from my husband's lips, directed at my continuous photography, we found a teeny bit of fun in a city full of downers.

and, if walking around the woods will help deflate my ass... then bring it on.
but maybe next time we should forgo penn station afterwards.

for sale.

2009-08-12T18:35:00.000-07:00

fluorescent price tags exclaiming, twenty-five cents each, or whole box, three dollars? check. retained shovels and weed wackers, adorn with "sorry, not for sale" signs? check. mounds of treasures atop color-coordinated, plastic table cloths? check. i smell garage sale.
#48? #49? check. check.

august ninth is national garage sale day, so it only seemed fitting that it also be the day i collect the cheddar from my very own swap meet. well, technically the sale was my ma's annual neighborhood soiree, but she let me rake in the big bucks for a few hours last weekend. and, technically the actual sale took place on the seventh and eighth of the month, but searching for something more clever to connect the "almost" exact date, to the "almost" claim to the sale rights is just too much work for now. one thing i will say about the ninth of august: it should be mi amiga kimmy's favorite national-something-day...she is a yard sale junkie, buyer and seller, gold-star association member. she means business. so i will proudly dedicate this blog entry to her. those balloons are for you lady! and trust me, there were times her passion for the perfectly sought-after-and-found-treasure would have been valued and appreciated. or, moments when her innocent surprise and gleeful self-gratification, watching her once cherished 1999 spring break cancun shot glass find itself in the hands of a new wino, could have helped ease the disappointment when our goodies were not exiting the garage doors fast enough. but, for the most part the sale was painless and successful. my ma's garage was occasionally filled with townies and collectors. browsers and hagglers. and for some added pizazz...a single sheet of white copier paper, marked with print that read, "50% off all items," was affixed to the tractor shaped mailbox (i can't make this shit up!). as it tousled in the wind, with a mere three hours left till sunset, ie. quittin' time, the crowds flooded the car stall. jackpot. the souvenirs vanished.

**i hope all of you readers out there do realize that the previous few statements are slightly exaggerated. a large neighborhood garage sale existed. items were sold. half off was taken. a small number of additional items were sold. the excitement of the event has been fictionalized.**

to stay true to my list-conditions, all leftovers were served up to charity. eastside ministries in zanesville will receive the hodgepodge items valuable to those in need, mainly garments and daily essentials like baby bottles and bedspreads. the rest will be relinquished to the mighty goodwill of kenton county...unless kimmy spots a future, must-have, mantle piece in the box below.

some people may label summer as wedding season, but i must say, a surprise treasure nestled between a vintage vhs copy of the sound of music and a slightly snagged run dmc t-shirt can be just as moving as two lovers' tearful vows. whether it is the season of bliss or the season of barter, this sale was just in time. with josh and i and abram on the brink of a move, less is always more when it comes to packing, and loading, and carrying, and unpacking...repeat. plus, thanks to my list, i was able to keep myself in check and complete the task of discarding our crap, this sale was essential to our move and our sanity. where will we go? no one knows...but thankfully, our junk will not be making the trip.

life according to mister.

2009-08-05T07:25:00.000-07:00

hi folks...abram here. i listen to my mommy and daddy every day. telling me when to eat, when to sleep, when to remove those stinky plastic pants that "sometimes" keep my clothes dry. most of the time it is mommy talking, daddy usually just nods his head in acceptance, i am not sure if he really hears anything she says. but as i get older, i have developed my own opinions and frankly, there are certain things i dig, and certain things i dig not. now it is my turn to do the talking, so listen up.

let me first say that i love my mommy and i know she means well, but i do have a few requests i wish granted. in support of compromise, meaning, one wish surrendered in exchange for a full two hour nap so mommy can have a long, extremely needed and uninterrupted shower. i scratch your back, you scratch mine, kind-of deal.

first of all, stick to the milkies lady. as you can see from my submitted self-portraits, i will not eat green eggs and ham, or carrots for that matter.

and no, your sad efforts of mimicking an airplane engine, or turning the spoon into a tilt-a-whirl, does not make the orange goo taste any better. i know that eventually this feeding with a spoon thing will be my daily nourishment, but for now, please let me enjoy the last few weeks i have with my drinking buddy: mister milkies.

speaking of the things that are adored by my tiny taste buds, i like human flesh...deal with it. you cannot keep my flavorsome fingers or tasty toes from me forever. my gums salivate for knuckles and shoulders and forearms, oh my. i can't help it, please, i beg of you. just think of slobber as extra wet kisses mommy...you like my kisses, right?

and please, for the love of god, stop taking photographs of me every second of every day.
i will indulge in your tomfoolery here and there... a little smiling is good for the soul. and, even though it can be a bit embarrassing, i do fancy the extra self-esteem boost i get each time you whip out a snap shot and the viewer repeatedly reminds me of my cuteness. but my pupils are beginning to shrink...permanently.

ok. now with all that nonsense out of the way, i want mommy to know that besides the above issues, saving the discussion over these pricks that i keep getting from that bloodthisty chick in the purple scrubs, for a later chat, there are many things i love about my life so far. high up on my list of favorites has to be my blue elephant. daddy secretly high-fives himself when i choose it over the yellow, rather girly, ducky. he thinks i don't notice, but i do. i love my elephant. mommy really wanted me to be partial to giraffes, but we can't help the ones we love. he is my second bestest friend.

my real primo pal is hank.
hank has been summoned to solitude because i would not stop chewing on his spiky blue hair. mommy, please release hank, i won't choke on the mysteriously-missing-woven-strands, you later find tightly clinched in my teeny fist, promise. hank may look like trouble with his bad boy persona and tattoo, but he really is a good guy, you just need to get to know him better.

gaining more and more ground toward the top spot on the list is brooke, my best girl...other than mommy of course. mommy watches this show on the t.v. that daddy really hates...come to think of it, i don't think daddy ever likes any of the shows mommy watches. anyway, there is a certain foxy lady on that show that makes me smile, her name is brooke. when i am sad, brooke makes it better. when i am hungry, brooke comforts me until mommy warms my milkies. when i am tired, brooke's voice gently rocks me to sleep. i love brooke.
i know my mommy and daddy are trying really really hard to make my life perfect, and for the last four months, i think it is working...except for those visits to the doctor, again, for a later conversation. i better go now, it is almost nap time and i plan on taking a long one, so mommy can do some chores. plus, she wouldn't take my picture while i am sleeping. would she?

brown bag & sidesaddle.

2009-07-28T05:32:00.000-07:00

painting for buyers is much more mundane than carefully selecting a flawless saturation to mesh you and your mate's mix-matched, single-life furniture with your now-i'm-an-adult, sophisticated tastes. buyers want neutral. buyers want emotionless, bland, sober colors. they want beige. and you, although itching for excitement, obey your realtor, and for once, your better half, and ignore your screaming palate. those tiny taste buds that will only be satisfied once you indulge in spicy cayenne pepper, luminous electric lime or heavenly toasted marshmallow. instead, i stand bored, staring into a sea of harmless tints. those impartial colors people keep on the back burner for when they need a plan b, a safety net. who knew beige was so complex. to the naked eye, each hue closely resembles the next. one color at a time, gradually darkening as i make my way through the samples. and then, there they were. nestled among numerous shades including blonde, sensational sand, portabello and coconut husk; brown bag and sidesaddle were gently picked, like berries, from the wall. their codes carefully typed into the paint-mixer-computer-thingy, the gallons presented to me, the color slathered on the walls. with a little help from some danish walnut stain, to conceal the nicks and puncture wounds the room's wood trim has endured over the last 112 years, we are now one step closer to pitching our home to eager buyers.
Not to mention putting #52 in the bag...or may i say, in the brown bag.

before & after

just call him zoolander.

2009-07-24T07:27:00.001-07:00

it is said that a picture is worth a thousand words. and, i am sure that i could easily come up with a few words to describe the latest tangible addition to my memory. precious. complacent. even the word crimson does justice. the deep warm pigment that denotes love and, ironically, the font color i used to cross off yet another list occupant. #20, one of my most sought after tasks, complete. my great friend kim, a cincinnati refugee and excellent photographer, once introduced me to her great friend kelly, also an artist behind a lens, but no derelict. kelly and her husband own and operate daphne photo studio, here in cincinnati, well for me, "greater cincinnati." she has a kind and creative soul, and the exemplary ability to capture mister's true sweetness. although i am pretty sure abram was embarrassed by his daddy and i's constant hoots and hollers for him to flash those pink gums, i think he had a good time. he did pretty awesome. no melt downs, no tears, no explosive poopies. all in all i think a modeling career may be in his future. we will have to start working on his "blue steel" rendition.

yummo.

2009-07-17T05:24:00.000-07:00

when josh, abram and i were assigned chips and dips for a recent family gathering, i took full advantage of the opportunity to again check an item off my list. i showcased my outstanding ability to follow a recipe, and tweak it a bit, by beginning with the solid staples of any great salsa: vine-ripened tomatoes, vidalia onions, and a personally picked pepper pungency.

i selected the chipotle pepper, nice and smoky. we prefer a chunkier condiment, so it was apparent i needed to fatten up my salsa a bit. black beans and josh's fabulously grilled sweet corn topped off the list of main components. a little minor adjusting with some garlic, cumin, coriander and adobo sauce, and there you have it, number seventy-seven. with some well needed overnight rest, for me and the salsa, an alfresco fiesta, with some great grub, was the perfect way to spend the following day.

regift.

2009-07-16T06:22:00.000-07:00

mister's first breath of fresh air didn't seem to come fast enough for those involved in his birth. the doctor was bored, my mother was frantic, and poor josh...so tired. josh saw things that day that will scar him for life. i, on the other hand, was patient. i was more than happy to keep my bun-in-the-oven. inevitably, little mister emerged from behind a blue, paper-like sheet.
he was a gift. and i knew, from what i had witnessed during that long friday, he would one day be a great man. i knew that josh would teach him to be kind, supportive and consoling. he would teach him how to be a great man.
although mister was the paramount prize, the blue ribbon holder, he was not the only gift i received that evening. my fabulous hubby gave me a very "jenny" pendant to celebrate the fact that i had actually given birth. the bohemian piece was perfect, one opal for me, one aquamarine for abram. but, in the hustle and bustle of our hospital departure, the pendant went missing and still to this day, remains at large. josh does however take full responsibility for the loss, claiming he may have accidentally thrown it away while packing up our new life. regardless of the circumstances, a replacement was in order. the producer of the pendant assured josh that, that one single piece of jewelry was the only one in the world...well, at least for as far as she or josh were willing to search. so, three days ago my replacement arrived. tied perfectly with a pink raffia bow, the little brown box provided a cushy home for my new "push present." i am not sure if, provided mister's retrieval, i can call the gift by that name... maybe c-section benefaction?
who knows. what i do know is that i love it. besides the beauty and sentimental value of the gift, the real second place prize goes to crossing off my very first day-zero-project-stint.
#44, check.

my two boys are pretty great.

my, my, how the times have changed....

2009-06-29T14:00:00.000-07:00

in an attempt to party like a rock star, we packed up and headed north for a soiree celebrating my new found intelligence. josh and i should have been cognizant of the fact that we were far from rock stars by the inventory of our luggage. besides the obvious addition of sweet mister, now a pack-n-play and numerous totes filled with baby bottles, baby diapers, baby wipes, baby formula, baby clothes, and so on, occupied the space in the back of the 4-runner that was once home to coolers of beer, corn hole boards and every bbq essential known to man. the extra cargo should have tipped us off that, like every single other night, i would be in bed before the am, with josh shortly behind me. but still hopeful, we arrived ready to morph into our prior selves. thanks to a more-than-hospitable t-bird and her sidekick cc, we were welcomed with open arms like we had never left our former second home.
the second "we are definitely older" realization came about 30 minutes later when mr. and mrs. madine left for the highly anticipated comfest. once a summer must-have, we passed on the festival due to heat and fear of drinking during the day, oh no. blue hairs 1, rock stars 0.
6pm, the graduation party was underway. we ate, we drank, we laughed. and, although i knew that the fiesta wouldn't attract the cops or get crashed by some random party-hoppers, the smiling faces of my old crew made it our own little special rager.
the third "we were born 30 years ago" came as i sat on a toddler's bed, rocking my son to sleep. nowadays we have designated sleeping quarters, which really beats scoping out the best spot on the couch or floor, and then spending the latter hours of the evening claiming your territory. as mister's peepers were finally closing, i heard a ruckus in the bathroom that connected to my new found territory. i envisioned the mayhem i would see as i opened the door. maybe it was beer bonging over the sink, foot skin being ingested after a lost bet or, gasp... maybe even two of our single friends "mingling" in secret. no such luck. what i was actually witnessing was my two former drinking buddies fulfilling their fatherly duties by bathing their children while beer soaked voices echoed from the party downstairs. sweet to see, hard to believe. another point for the blue hairs.
like expected, my bed time came shortly after my three month old's and i retired to my territory. my final realization came as i awoke to the smell of two pounds of frying bacon and rolled over to find a man in my bed. oh no, my beer goggles had gotten the best of me. he was chubby, bald and snoring so loudly the paint on the ceiling was starting to peel. not that this situation has ever happened or horrified me before... my mother may read this... but i was happy to be sans headache and cigarette-cotton-mouth and even more chipper to see a smile emerge from the lips of my bed buddy as i whispered good morning. my little mister has become my new vice and it is exceedingly better to wake up to him than the aftereffect of drinking.
there are times when i miss our old lives, but the absence of the hangover helps to cure my melancholy. we have aged. we have mellowed. we have perfected. i am proud of the adults we have become, even if it is at the expense of our rock star status.

the gala had many crowning points like spraying ants with aqua net (sorry no photo available) and a rigorous dance off featuring the following contestants...

and, for an added bonus the neighbors were having an ongoing yard sale... and i am not exaggerating by saying ongoing, the products have been displayed for a week plus.
josh scored a pair of gently used biking shorts for only $1.25. thank goodness he scooped them up when he did... it was surprising that they were one of the many treasures left.

my quest for myself.

2009-06-24T10:47:00.000-07:00

as i get older, my priorities greatly change. my dreams once included moving back to chicago and owning twenty pairs of manolo blahniks. nowadays, i dream of two more hours of sleep and that i don’t run out of wipes in the middle of a nasty diaper change. regardless of my feelings toward these “grown-up” responsibilities, i need to get back to doing things, for myself, without procrastination. although my new goals are much simpler, they are important. the importance lies in the completion, not the substance. today i will begin my day zero project/101 in 1001. meaning that from this day until monday, march 19, 2012, i will be crossing off goals from a list of 101 things i want, i need and i deem valuable. the list is in no order, each task is equally feasible. i encourage those who may read this to make your own list and get in the habit of finishing things, no matter how large or small your ambition may be. be realistic with your list. if it is practical for you to move your family to london, or become a rocket scientist, then go for it, but don’t set yourself up for disappointment. good luck & have fun.

my list....

1. Lose all Abram's baby weight
2. Frame Abram's memorabilia and keep up with this baby book
3. Memorize Josh and Abram's social security numbers
4. Go to the dentist
5. Kill a BIG spider all by myself
6. Tell Josh I love him everyday
7. Get a facial
8. Learn to love SOME exercise
9. Go on a honeymoon
10. Use animal hospital idea in some way
11. Potty train Abram
12. Back up all my photos onto cd/dvd
13. Spend more time with my Grandparents
14. Paint the spindles
15. Build a fire by myself
16. Teach Abram to count to twenty....in English and Spanish and French
17. Fit into my True Religion jeans again
18. Find Josh's wedding ring
19. Get the photos Kim took of me framed
20. Get Abram and I photographed together professionally
21. Get a SLR camera and learn how to use it
22. Go to a yoga class
23. Finish reading A People's History of the United States
24. Spend more time with my brother and his daughters
25. Help JD lose weight
26. Have a "Coffee Kitchen"
27. Let Mags and Bubbie roam the neighborhood
28. Look good in a bathing suit
29. Hang my college diploma on the wall
30. Learn to sew better
31. Have a girl's night out with ALL my girlfriends
32. Build a snowman with all the proper fixins'
33. Continue Abram's scrapbook
34. Get a new computer
35. Get a suntan
36. Write to my Grandma about Abram
37. Participate in the Race for the Cure and convince my ma to walk too
38. Have Dr. Ingram check out my mystery sty
39. Help Josh stop biting his fingernails
40. Attend Minerd and Amelia's wedding!! hint-hint :)
41. Get a job offer for a REAL job
42. Frame and display my nature photos
43. Visit Erin and Kim in Chicago
44. Wear my new "push present"
45. Teach Abram to be patient
46. Keep my hydrangeas alive
47. Plant a tree
48. Sell all non-used things in house at yard sale
49. Give what's left from yard sale to Goodwill
50. Re-do outside furniture
51. Move closer to my Ma or Lisa or Chicago
52. Paint the dining room
53. Make movie of kids
54. Have no other loans other than a mortgage and student
55. Win more than $25 on a scratch off lottery ticket
56. Help Josh have his own space
57. Get new bed and bedding
58. Sell our house
59. Find and wear the RIGHT size bra
60. Watch Gone With The Wind
61. Wear a cute headband and love how it looks
62. Get Abram a tire swing
63. Wear a flower in my hair on a beach
64. Do more DIY projects (mirror, coat rack, etc..)
65. Make more of an effort to see my high school friends
66. Purchase a Dining room table. One we love, with awesome chairs
67. Take a bubble bath in a great tub in MY bathroom
68. Sell my textbooks online
69. Give Abram a legitimate bedroom
70. Save more than $50, using coupons, during a single trip to grocery
71. Get a coupon organizer (I know, dorky)
72. Finish Baseball scrapbook
73. Plan a vacation to Outer Banks with ALL our friends, even if it's only for a few days
74. Teach Abram to say please and thank you
75. Wear violet lingerie and feel confident
76. Get my palm read
77. Make homemade salsa
78. Drink a White Russian
79. Take Abram tent camping
80. Re-do our dresser
81. Buy myself feather earrings
82. Get my hair cut and colored by Mandy
83. Help build (or project manage!) a permanent, outdoor, charcoal grill
84. Continue to Recycle
85. Get a pair of red ballerina flats
86. Cook more meals for my family
87. Have a "formal" dinner party, with a perfectly set table
88. Attend a Sugarland concert
89. Open a savings account
90. Have a plan for the little couch
91. Make sure people know I appreciate Josh for all he has done for me
92. Visit the Bronx Zoo
93. Put up outside Christmas lights
94. Have a really great photo of Josh and I hung on the wall
95. Get my picture taken with the Christmas tree in downtown Chicago
96. Make artwork for my house
97. Get furniture professionally cleaned
98. Organize and stow away wedding stuff
99. Have a second child
100. Construct a resume
101. Remind my ma, often, how much I love her

the ins and outs of a small town life.

2009-06-24T10:45:00.000-07:00

i know i stole that phrase from a country song and technically my current living quarters are close in proximity to a large city, but being a new mom, stuck indoors because of the summer heat, makes me feel like i live in my own little village. my son, abram, is almost three months old and he is pretty awesome. obviously my life has changed drastically in the past year, but those changes have, in some weird way, made me look at myself, my husband and my surroundings in a whole new light. i started this blog to keep up with some “old” friends from my past lives, and to showcase my day zero project progress. so, i will story-tell with those goals in mind and hopefully my continuous mind churning will not turn this blog into a constant bitchfest about all the reasons i may despise my husband or hate my post-baby body, or... well you get the gist. in common terms, i am a midwesterner. i am loved. i am broke. i am just me. enjoy my banter.